RESENTMENT TOWARDS VERBAL BARRIERS
The anger and resentment that builds in such a short amount of time from the inability to communicate is astounding. I was able to travel to Duluth, MN for two days with an awesome group of people from various parts of Brazil, who happened to be working in the US, after a week long design sprint in Minneapolis. They wanted to explore more of Minnesota, I figured why not I love adventure. What I didn’t know is that I would be the pathetic outsider, to no ones actual fault, but simply be default. None of them had known each other prior to the few weeks before arriving to work in the US, but immediately they were all able to connect with each other. I thought I could easily adapt and join in on the camaraderie of being in a new place to hike and explore. What I didn’t know, was that they had no intentions of speaking English for the entirety of the two days (as you can imagine, after they had to constantly speak English for their work during their time here, I’m sure being a collective group speaking naturally was incredibly refreshing for them).
At first I wasn’t that upset, I knew some basic words and phrases, so I could construct sentences that was likely to be equivalent to that of a 4 year old and, at the least, I was cute for making an effort. As the weekend bore on (not actually a bore it was exciting, but conversationally it was rough) my attempts at communicating with them in their natural setting diffused to gentle smiles and nods. To be completely honest, the smiles and nods turned to masked anger and some resentment. The question I kept asking myself was, how can I be so frustrated at this situation?
Shortly I realized that interrupting their conversation to ask what they were talking about or asking what was funny, ruined any natural flow and vibrations to the wonderful setting of adventure in an unknown environment. That’s when I had to become verbally recluse and just about shut down any enjoyment I was having. I didn’t want this to ruin the trip for everyone, but this was so outside anything normal to me. I’m in my own country with a group of people that aren't speaking English, therefore I’m feeling more upset than ever. I recognized I was definitely being selfish. I quickly adapted (out of desperation) and found that I could engage in one-on-one interactions. This way the conversation would have to be in English and I could still get know the six people, bunked up in a two bed hotel room.
And actually, by doing this, I found out much more about who they were, than if it was in a group setting conversation. I may have missed the laughs or political comments towards the rough transition of power in Brazil. But I definitely connected individually with several of them, learning more about their life, family, and other experiences they had while in the United States. They were already a fun group to spend time with, but being able engage, understand, and empathize with their experiences made it much more valuable. Connection is key, but connecting under pretenses I didn't anticipate within my own borders helped me find a new approach to get involved.